There are many factors that make a successful marriage.
Happy couples often have a humorous and cheerful attitude – Photo: Visualphotos
How you two meet determines the sustainability of your marriage
According to psychologist Dr. John Gottman (USA), remembering the day you and your husband met can predict the longevity of your marriage.
If your partner retells that romantic story in a sarcastic tone or disparaging words, perhaps it’s time to find out what’s hiding behind those feelings.
Be argumentative and choose your words carefully
The way each couple argues can say a lot about the future of their marriage.
All couples can benefit from building and maintaining their friendship with each other, so they can acknowledge their partner’s strengths even when times get tough, Gottman concluded.
When there is conflict between husband and wife, think twice about whether it is necessary to win the argument or not.
When the joy in marriage gradually fades, look for novelty
You will be greatly disappointed if you think that marriage will make you happy.
Lyubomirsky also discovered that couples can adapt, increasing their long-term satisfaction and dispelling the dullness of marriage.
Next, build variety and richness into your life.
`You don’t have to do anything too complicated,` says Lyubomirsky. `It’s as simple as meeting new friends, going dancing, learning a foreign language, or joining a volunteer team together—whatever it takes.`
Generosity will reap great rewards
According to research results by professors at the University of Virgina, altruism and generosity are one of the main factors that make a happy marriage.
Before you hesitate whether to buy your husband a sweater or a ticket to his favorite football game, remember that altruism and generosity include everything from doing small things for your spouse like cooking
Turns out, you marry into a whole family
Research shows that the relationship with your wife’s (or husband’s) family has a great influence on your marriage.
Orbuch said these findings speak to the nature of women’s relationships.
O Orbuch reminds couples to be realistic when it comes to their parents-in-law.
Take time to bond
After 26 years of studying 343 couples, Orbuch concluded that people who know and understand their partners are more satisfied with their marriage.
When husband and wife understand each other deeply, the marriage will last longer.
Sharing spiritual beliefs helps strengthen relationships
Couples with similar religious beliefs are often happier in their marriages and less likely to break up.
Sharing spiritual and religious activities together gives the couple transcendent meaning and the support of extended family and friends.
Marriage gets better over time (especially for wives).
Psychologists at the University of California, Berkeley, Institute for Research in Personality and Society tracked the marital satisfaction of about 100 women for 18 years, from when they were about 40 years old until they were 60 years old.
The researchers concluded that women experiencing parenting problems may need to persevere when their marriage is stressful and should remember to spend as much time with their partner.
Kim Anh (According to GoodHousekeeping)
