Good men should not consider doing housework as ‘helping their wives’

Good men should not consider doing housework as 'helping their wives' 8

Last week I attended a party, the topic that appeared at the dinner table that day was: What do you hope for most in your husband?

Most girls’ answers are beautiful appearance, good income, romantic, talented…

Only one married friend gave the answer: `That’s the man who actively does housework.`

The banquet table was silent for a few seconds, then the married women all raised their hands in response.

`Only after getting married did I understand that income and appearance are not as important as a man who knows how to clean up the dishes after meals and change his children’s diapers when they wake up,` one person said.

Housework is often considered a small matter and everyone seems to implicitly understand that it is a woman’s responsibility.

It only takes 10 minutes to wash dishes, change diapers, half an hour to clean up or check your child’s homework.

In China, 2017 statistics showed that there were up to 1.4 million divorced couples, of which 71% of the plaintiffs were women.

A truly good man does not help his wife with housework.

I have a friend named Tieu Tinh. She always complains that she doesn’t understand why her husband’s busyness always comes by chance.

Previously, when my husband didn’t have to do housework, he didn’t work overtime at the office.

Tieu Tinh was originally a gentle, soft-spoken girl who was never angry with anyone.

I believe Tieu Tinh doesn’t want to go crazy, but she has to work at the company all day, come home at night to clean and take care of the children.

Until one day, Tieu Tinh couldn’t stand her husband anymore and mentioned divorce.

`The collapse of a relationship is very easy. As long as the wife spends an extra hour doing housework and double that time taking care of the children, the breakdown will happen quickly,` she sighed.

Many people think that doing housework and taking care of children are easy tasks.

In fact, only when you directly cook porridge every morning and change diapers for children at night will you understand how difficult it is to maintain a decent family life.

Doing housework is not a simple task.

Wash dishes or chop vegetables first?

If you are a woman who diligently does housework, I believe your experience can be written into a book.

There was a recent true story on Weibo that impressed me.

Good men should not consider doing housework as 'helping their wives'

The movie `The Kramers` tells the story of father Ted Krame’s journey to raise his children alone after his wife left him because he did not know how to share housework.

In the famous Hollywood movie `The Kramers`, a wife named Joanna becomes a full-time housewife after getting married.

On the first day his wife left, her husband – Ted Krame – was woken up by his son.

But Ted Kramer couldn’t find a pot in the kitchen or a way to bake bread.

After a few days of taking his wife’s place, Ted Kramer understood that the previously well-organized mornings were not so readily available.

Fathers who do not do housework not only affects the relationship between husband and wife but also affects the happiness of their children.

The University of British Columbia, Canada once conducted a study: Observing 326 children from 7 to 10 years old and their parents to see how to choose future careers.

Daughters whose father never does housework will have a concept of inequality between men and women when choosing a career.

As for children whose parents share housework and child care, girls will not be bound by gender thinking when choosing a career.

`The more housework a father does, the bolder and more diverse his daughter’s career choices will be,` British Columbia concluded after the study.

In other words, if fathers not only make gender equality a slogan but practice it every day, children will easily be inspired by the value of gender equality.

Famous director who won three Oscars, Lee An, once said: `In my family, I am both a husband and a father. That does not mean that I automatically receive the respect of my relatives. To have this,

Even after becoming famous, this director still often goes to the market with his wife in his free time.

In fact, in addition to daily work, Ly An also spends a lot of time taking care of housework with his wife such as cooking and taking care of the children.

According to this director, a truly good man does not help his wife with housework.

Good men should not consider doing housework as 'helping their wives'

Director Ly An and his wife.

From childhood to adulthood, in Ly An’s memory, his father was always the one who wore an apron in the kitchen to cook and wash dishes for everyone in the family.

His family at that time, even though their parents were busy with their own work, they still shared the housework in shifts.

`If dad is busy with personal matters next week, he will do more housework this week. With mother, she does the same, without comparing, calculating the pros and cons,` the director recalled.

Therefore, in his family, it is not the father who helps the mother with housework, but the two of them help each other.

Ly An’s father often said that to have a good family relationship, don’t compare who does more and who does less.

`The phrase ‘helping with housework’ subconsciously considers housework to be a woman’s responsibility, instead of the family responsibility that is also the husband’s,` his father once said.

Article by author Kai Shu posted on a forum for husband and wife in China

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